As Christmas approaches ever nearer, and we are into party season, ones thoughts naturally turn to what precious delights might be hiding under the tree, wrapped in tissue paper......and beyond that the January sales and what bargains might be waiting to be given a new loving home....
However, this year such aquisitions could be jeopardised by a new breed - a dangerous and uncontrollable hybrid has been developed- we are talking the Monster Heel
It seems for the last few seasons now every designer has not sent a heel out of a factory measuring less than 6 inches- and of course where they lead, the high street follows, so trying to find a heel that you can conceivably wear all day has become a nigh on impossibility
(and please, don't even get me started on the attempt to bring back kitten heels- the majority of which are supremely ugly, and look like they are created for dowager aunts to wear to weddings)
As a woman of only 5'3" (about average height for the British woman, apparently) and feet size 2 1/2 the realistic heel height I can manage for a long period of time is 4 inches (unless I get drunk, which isn't really an option for daytime)
This being a full 2 inches smaller than the current shoe offer its leaving me somewhat frustrated and starved of new hoofs
(the ASOS ones I bought the other day were fine, incidentally- 3 & 1/2 heel, with 2 inch platform they give enough height and look fab when scaled down to a size 3)
Models can wear these Monster heels, because most of them also have monster sized feet to go with them- see also trannys (a size 9 foot has more of the actual foot on the floor, not just the toes and the ball of your foot)
We can all remember the shoes that took our Highest Heel virginity- mine were a pair of rainbow Red Or Deads with a silver 6 inch heel....before then I had always stuck to wearing vintage heels of around 3 inches, perfect and looked high enough due to them only being a size 3, but the day I saw those bad boys I knew it was time to break myself into some serious heelage.....and so I took them home and wore them out for my birthday
I must have looked like Bambi on ice, trying to stay upright (you can tell a girl in too high heels by the duck walk- bum sticking out, knees bent...not a good look)
spent most of the night sat down, and hardly any of it dancing, and vowed I would never buy too high heels again......
Of course I have done, because when you see them in the shop you think they arn't THAT high, you trot around the shop and they seem fine, you wear them in the house whilst doing the washing up...no problem- but when it comes to actually leaving the house, and your crippled by the time you've reached the end of your street, you know there is only one answer........wear flats til you reach your destination, change outside and on the way home
I have heard of the Botox in the feet option, and it is very tempting, but for now I'm saying needle free and crossing fingers & toes that someone comes to their senses and actually produces some realistic chaussures sometime soon
Maybe its because most shoe designers are men, and therefor women are a fantasy image, and not an actual living being that has to get tubes and walk more than 6 feet? (Nicolas Kirkwood & Giuseppe Zanotti in particular) - I LOVE their shoes, but apart from their size 3 being way too big for me, even if it weren't the heel height alone would mean a night of sitting, which really is no fun at all.....