Well, actually, I already am....its a long story...lets start at the beginning
After buying a flat together in August 2013 - and let me, tell you, the London market is totally INSANE the finding & bidding process moves at a ridiculous pace, then the solicitors move like snails on Valium. Then all the paperwork attached to your purchase was seemingly written in the 1800's and makes no sense whatsoever. And this is dealing with the most amount of money you'll probably spend in your life
We had one fall through due to solicitors, but as they say- it all happens for a reason and we finally completed on a lovely period flat with original features, high ceilings and garden, then set about the task of cramming all our possessions into it - for me that's books, and yes- clothes shoes and handbags!
4 bin bags I got rid of...still have way too many of the above, but thats another subject....
So, come March 2014, he whisks me away to Morocco.
Our first holiday together was in Essaouira and it was total bliss. We stayed in an Architect friend of mines riad Dar Emma (having spent time in his other riad Dar Beida with group of girlfriends back in 2005/2006 I'd fallen in love with the fresh fish and sea air there) These first holidays are always a bit of a test aren't they? to see if you can stand each other for a full week!
I'd always wanted to see Marrakech so he booked a lovely riad (and took pleasure in winding me up that our surprise accommodation was essentially sleeping in a cave with a goat on the flight over)
On our first day out (to see the Majorelle Gardens) He didn't comment on my outfit- multi stripe Maxi dress (vintage Betty Barclay) and Missoni towel as a turban, which was a bit odd, I did expect the 'its not a catwalk, you don't have to dress like a diva to go to the YSL gardens' but no....
We ended up with an 'attachment' as we tried to find our way back to our riad- a local boy, determined to be our 'tour guide' and to be paid for it....he seriously stressed me out, but Rob stood his ground, refused to pay him, and made sure we didn't go to our door with him anywhere near us. (its the worst thing about that city- being harassed to buy things constantly.)
He'd booked me a spa day the next day (and later I found out spent the time I was in there running around trying to find stand in ring for the stunt ring that hadn't turned up yet!)
So when my spa visit was due I said to him 'you will walk with me won't you? I can't face it out there without you. Kind of like a metaphor for life'
That evening he instructs me to go an get ready- he'd arranged for a traditional meal to be delivered to us (by our AirB&B contact/ riad manager)
He's got Otis Reading on, is pouring me champagne- I should have known when he was refilling my not-empty yet glass he was up to something....
The Proposal- well, I didn't even realise he was trying to propose, so I kept interrupting his 'speech' in the end he had to do the 'getting down on one knee' bit just to shut me up
I don't think I actually said yes, I was too busy crying! (there a handy hint boys, the minute you're on one knee you could say anything. it will not be remembered!)
Of course the next question was...'can I tell my mum?' 'she already knows' he'd called and asked my fathers permission it turns out (bless him, that made them cry too, apparently)
'Can I tell James?' my darling brother...also already knew! in fact he was the first...he suggested it was 'much more modern' to select the actual ring together (hence the 'stunt ring')
- We have still not got the real engagement ring as I write this....
'Can I tell the girls?' 'Yes, you can tell the girls...'
|someone about to propose!|
We decided to get married overseas, as the cost for UK venue hire is quite a lot and considering how quickly we hear weddings are over, we wanted to make it more of a mini break.
During all this time, my last remaining beloved Grandmothers Alzheimer's is getting worse, she is thinner every time I see her, and has had to go into a care home after a bad fall at home (a decision my mother didn't take lightly) we knew she liked her independence, but as her condition got worse, her behaviour got more dangerous to herself and being alone was getting to be a very serious accident waiting to happen
Then my great uncle got diagnosed with a brain tumour. 3 months to live. Totally out of the blue, inoperable. He and my Great Aunt (my mothers younger sister) never had children, so we spent a lot of time with them growing up.
Given all this- and the knowledge that we may need to have a legal ceremony in the UK (depending where we did get married) we decided to get married in Sheffield Town Hall in the November
We made this event family only- not even a bridesmaid or best man. this way our ailing relatives could all be there, and share our day, and we could make the overseas event more about friends
We managed to plan this whirlwind wedding in only 3 months- we took a day to visit various venues in Sheffield (my hometown) and settled on Whitley Hall, a 16th Century mansion hotel that Byron used to stay in, that has peacocks roaming the grounds
I found my dress pretty easily too, initially I thought I wanted a big Vera Wang creation, the full skirted- really BRIDE number, but in the end I found a beautiful Edwardian lace one in Jane Bourvis on Goldbourne Road. And she was able to get in finished in a matter of weeks!
That was only my second dress appointment- the other was at Mirror Mirror in Islington, where I did try a big dress on...just for Mum...
|This was my favourite..before I found the Jane Bourvis...its by Yolan Cris a Spanish company|
BUT you will have to wait to see the dress, as I'm keeping that under wraps until the next event!
Sadly, my grandmother passed away on the morning of our wedding. We saw her the night before, she was not in a good way- had a chest infection, and with her being so thin, she nothing to help fight it, she wasn't taking her medication for it (despite the attempts of the nurses) they were trying to calm her and administer it, so we had to leave them to it
At around 10pm we got a call- she had taken a turn for the worst. We got there and spent some time with her, but the doctor confirmed she wouldn't last beyond 24 hours...they could take her to hospital, but the drive alone could kill her and we didn't want to cause her anymore distress
We were told the hearing is the last thing to go, so we stayed with her and talked to her- I was ordered home at 1am, my Mother & James stayed until 8am, my Father & I were up for 9am, after some last minute errands we were back for 10am....and by then they had the call, she had passed away.
She was a fun loving character, she used to laugh after everything she said, she was 'the original wild child' sneaking out to parties, driving my great grandparents crazy (I'm basically a chip off the old block)
when my husband met her he said 'you make sense now' as my mum is sensible and normal, he figures the crazy skipped a generation
I miss her terribly, and have cried many times over her. She wouldn't have wanted us to cancel so we went ahead, and the funny thing is, since this happened I read in Hindu culture they believe you have to be joyful to help the spirit ascend to heaven
|On her Wedding day, she hated flowers 'they follow a funeral' told you she was unique!|
|One of my favourite looks of Nan's, I'm the flower girl down the front (Mum made my dress)|
The other weird thing is - I call my girlfriends 'ladybird' and during the pre dinner drinks a ladybird walked across the bar. In November. In Sheffield. I'm convinced it was Nan, paying a last visit to the party - she didn't want to be there in that body- she wanted to be there in her spirit
As awful as it was for her to die on the day of my wedding, I can also be philosophical - what if she had died during? or had been alive but too ill to attend? or attended and had a 'bad day' (as anyone living with a relative with this awful disease will tell you, sometimes they misbehave terribly and cause a scene or say things they shouldn't....)
All in all what happened, may have been the best of a bad situation. Of course I'd rather she has been there- but she knew it was happening (and even knew about the vintage car my parents had booked as a surprise) so although the best thing would have been for her to be there, what happened wasn't the worst., as at least we got to say goodbye (my brother lives in New York and wouldn't have been there otherwise)
I'll remember her every time I laugh and I'm grateful to have had her in my life.
So onto wedding 2
Sunday 12th July we will 'marry' again with 44 of our close friends & family in a beautiful chateau in rural France
more on that next time!!